It’s Their Fault

From Wiki:

Bennett Brauer was played by Chris Farley. In each appearance, Brauer provided commentary for Kevin Nealon’s Weekend Update, vividly describing his poor hygiene, his lack of social grace, and his anger towards the viewers for preferring other photogenic commentators to him. Brauer would make regular use of finger quotes to emphasize every point he made. For example:

Maybe I’m not “the norm”. I’m not “camera friendly”. I don’t “wear clothes that fit me”. I’m not a “heartbreaker”. I haven’t “had sex with a woman”; I don’t know “how that works”. I guess I don’t “fall in line”. I’m not “hygenic”. I don’t “wipe properly”. I lack “style”. I have no “charisma” or “self esteem”. I don’t “own a toothbrush” or “let my scabs heal”. I can’t “reach all the parts of my body”. When I sleep, I “sweat profusely”.

Or, Clinton describing being picked by O:

Maybe I‘m not am “the norm”. I’m not “camera friendly” (okay, don’t need to change that). I don’t “wear clothes that fit me” (ditto). I’m not a “heartbreaker” (this is easy). I haven’t “had sex with a woman” (probably also true); I don’t know “how that running a decent campaign works”. I guess I don’t “fall in line” “balance the ticket”. I’m not “hygenic” “honest”. I don’t “wipe campaign properly nicely“. I lack “style” (see above). I have no “charisma” “hope” for “self esteem” “change”. I don’t “own a toothbrush” “offer anything new” or “let my scabs political vendettas heal”. I can’t “reach all the parts of my body” “reinforce Obama’s most basic messages”.  I’m “even more of a celebrity than Obama.” When I sleep, I “sweat profusely” “dream of elbow dropping my running mate”.

But she would (probably) win.